And my social security number is...

Ok, so I'm slow on the uptake with a lot of things. Usually they fall in the category of "the new paint color on your walls," "that change in the style of your glasses," and other visually subtle differences. Anything that has the faintest whiff of possible conspiracy, well I'm usually there pretty quickly.

So what took me so long to realize that I am probably the only blogger in a universe of bloggers who uses her real name for her profile and webpage? Everyone else seems to choose anonymity.

With no direspect to the Patriot Act, I hate these protect-my-privacy times. I am the kind of person who usually tells you how much I make, who I voted for, and what sort of sex I'm most interested in having. The US is too focused on protecting and extending the hyper-individualism that has isolated us fairly profoundly from each other. As a queer woman in a state that only very recently reversed the laws against sodomy (yes, I do), I can appreciate the importance of protecting privacy. I believe in protecting privacy. But within the context of the current United States of "this is mine, not yours", I don't believe it's the ideal starting point. Particularly when we no longer have a public to weigh against the private.

You can not stand on a street corner and orate about war, the new Wal Mart around the corner, the birth of your new child or Jesus Christ unless you have the necessary permit and, in many places, there are no permits available. The largest "public space" in Minneapolis, where I live, is sadly the Mall of America. In the frozen winter, the majority of Twin Cities residents spend some amount of time visiting this place where you can leave our jacket in the car. If you have small children but hate to shop - again, yes, me - you go just so your kids can run and get some energy off when it's too cold to be outside. But the mall is private space - as are all malls and increasingly parks, streets in front of any business, and so on. I can go there with my child so that she can get some exercize but I can't open my mouth about public education (I still believe in it), health care, the war in Iraq, or how silly the store is that only sells refrigerator magnets.

Those places that are public - parks, wilderness areas, etc - are usually places where individuals go to commune (individually) with nature or to strengthen their individual bodies with exercize. Other places - halls of government, etc - well, you can go and schedule your token protest, make sure the building has enough security to protect your safety, and take your litter with you when you leave.

I didn't buy my first car until I was 31 and the first time I got into that car, I burst into tears. Ok, for those of you who know me, as my partner says, I cry like I sweat. But still, I was "havin' a feelin'". I cried when I got into that car because after 31 years of public transportation and foot traffic, this symbol of my growing privilege gave me way too much control. I could get quickly and easily between two places, stay warm in winter, and have a complex agenda for the day with all of my crap in the back seat, but I was alone. Before, my day and life were unwillingly affected by the people who sat next to me or walked up to me outside. Their days, views, lives, and body odor affected mine. Half the time, this was neutral. A fourth of the time it was a pain in the ass but a fourth of the time it was positive - I became more than I had been before meeting this person. And I knew people, had learned of their lives in bits and pieces of bus rides and street walks, people who did not otherwise connect with my world in any way, shape or form.

Now, public space or "the right to be infringed on" is described as a mark of poverty. And it's true - the only folks who inhabit public space with all of its warts and without the ability to change tend to be folks who have no access to private space - a car, a home, an i-pod. My family uses one car in a city that was not built for walking - so we bike and bus to make up the difference, But these days it's choice. And that's an entirely different thing. There are too many times when I am lazy and pick up my option for easy.

I'll care more about protecting my privacy from internet terrors (I don't have credit cards for them to abuse, only a checking account and a cash card at my credit union and they call me when anything wierd happens on my account) and protecting my identity and protecting my privacy, when there's a public that is accountable to each other. When there is a public that exists more than on the fringes of our lives, that is not the realm of those with few resources, and one in which there is space for that dance between anarchy and democracy which has the potential of getting us somewhere.

Want to know how to find me, where I live - just give it a google.